so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
