he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
