I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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