I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
