My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
