bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
