Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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