Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
