this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
