You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize