They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
