Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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