He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
