she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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