Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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