Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
