i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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