I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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