Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
