When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize