she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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