that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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