this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
