Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
