yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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