Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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