How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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