oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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