lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
