So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize