a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
