How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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