I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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