hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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