My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
