just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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