it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Four minutes until I can fart!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
