we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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