i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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