Pappa wants mamma naked
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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