Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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