you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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