I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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