i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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