So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
