Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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