Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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