No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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