The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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