I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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