i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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