My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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