i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
