Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize