My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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