We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"