her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.