Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Pants are for mortals