So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
