puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
